Ten Signs Your BBF is About To Be Single

You see, the difference between models and mortals is that they can dress like this.

You see, the difference between models and mortals is they can wear things like this.

So you’ve wished for it, but never out loud. Not even to yourself. That would make you a horrible person. But your best friend is about to become single. And you know why.

1. Not only she hasn’t worn her skinny jeans in more than three weeks, she has no idea whether they fit or not. She thinks her baggy boot cuts are just fine. Somebody took “You’re beautiful just the way you are” a little to literally. 

2. She’s adopted norm core as a serious style. And by the way she’s investing in all of the pieces you know it’s not going to be temporary. 

3. Instagram account used to be all selfies. Now its all pictures of food. 

4. And restaurants gave way to home cooking. And that gave way to pickling and jam. Note: said couple just turned 25. 

5. She’s spending more on socks than lingerie. 

6. Short black dress means cut to the knee. 

7. You almost give her a straightener for her birthday. Until you remember she had one before said boyfriend appeared. 

8. She cut her hair in a pixie even though everybody who knew her said she had an oddly shaped head. She called them haters. 

9. Her boyfriend’s name is James. But when you say James, she regularly asks “Franco?” She didn’t grow up in hollywood. 

10. Her browser ads are slides and Birkenstocks instead of Prada and Céline. 

So what do you in this case? I (and that’s just me) suggest a good old intervention with a dose of putting her down for her own good. 



How Early is Too Early for Bare Legs?

ImageIt’s spring time in New York now and right about now everyone starts to test their sartorial talent. Shorts and sweaters, scarves and tank tops, leather jackets and bras, sandals and pea coats…

I, for one, tend to prefer till it is officially summer before showing bare legs. There are just too many distractions and possibilities with bare legs. It’s chilly in the morning and you have to hope it will warm up. And after it warms up for the midday couple of hours you have to wonder how cold it will get at night.

So no, pants for me, and short-sleeve or sleeveless top I can throw a jacket or cadigan on. But, caveat, my philosophy makes you miss out on outfits likes this Beauty gem on the left. 

What do you prefer, warmth or a beautiful outfit? 



Thirteen Who-Do-I-Think-I-am Moments

ImageWe know the story: Great taste, dream job, high aspirations……and a bank account that hasn’t quite caught up That describes 60% of New York City’s population. You realize it when: 

– Sample sale season is your football/basketball/world cup season. You’ve actually considered taking a mortgage from a bank. 

– Your Equinox bill is twice what you spend on food in a week. 

– Spent $60 on dinner but think for an hour on whether to buy organic or regular milk. 

– You do legitimately wonder if you’re going to be an old lady who lives in her shoes. And your friend’s response isn’t “That’s never gonna happen!”.

– You bought that thing you saw in a blog, because you were worried it would sell out. (It didn’t. It went on sale two weeks after you bought it.) 

– Your skincare regimen costs could be a donation to NASA. 

– What’s wrong with normal shampoo? Nothing, except, how can millions of people live without lustrous hair? 

– Personal style rut = have not shopped in two weeks. 

– Selling your clothes is no longer a pipe dream. There is legitimate money hanging in your closet. 

– You realize you’re the only one at the table without a trust fund. 

– INA knows you. You have INA on speed dial. 

– Work gave you a gift card to the Gap and you were like, what the hell am I gonna do with this? 

– But you spend it on a soft robe, socks and pajamas, and wish you could use it for food. 

Any others? Or did any of these ever happen to you? 




Who Actually Pulled Off Boyfriend Jeans?

Photo from The Sartorialist

Photo from The Sartorialist

It’s that time of year too warm for tights but too soon to show bare legs. Jeans are the happy medium, breathable, versatile. Except I want to burn my black skinny jeans or throw them in the dumpster. 

Enter Boyfriend Jeans. You know, those things that would be what you garden or clean the house in except for pictures of Yasmin Sewell looking amazing in them and an oversize sweater and heels. So I try to do the same. I try on a bunch of pairs, but they just make me look like I missed the memo on skinny denim. I want to look like I surpassed it, been there done that. 

I bought a pair once, convinced myself in the dressing room mirror that I looked good, it just needed some getting used to and positive reinforcement from friends to boost my confidence. Perhaps true, but I never got it. Reactions were along the lines of “I love how low-key you look today.” Translation: You really couldn’t be bothered to wear some skinny jeans and ballet flats at least. I tried them on with heels. The response: We can wait for you to change. No need to rush out the door. We’re going out-out tonight. 

I felt shitty. I ended up wearing the jeans to paint a wall in my apartment. I wasn’t cool enough to wear these, but then again who was? Can you name one person who looks great in boyfriend jeans sans a DSLR camera? 




Why Whereability?

sunglasses miu miu

I started this blog a few weeks after realizing I have at least $750 worth of barely worn clothes in my closet. Heart-shaped gold sunglasses too big for my face, a Stella McCartney top that’s very Cougartown, a silk top from Zara Woman with sleeves too long, sea foam green shorts that let’s say don’t do wonders for my ass, a red shirt that is just….too red, and wedge sneakers that I wore only once. 

I’m putting them up for sale now, but I kept thinking why did I buy them in the first place? What was I searching for? It’s no secret the heart-shaped gold sunglasses meant I wanted glamour missing from my desk job. Did I buy the Stella McCartney top right before my boyfriend was moving cross-country to lure him back, or get ready for what was about to come after? The red top with a Peter Pan collar, I wanted to be studious, get a PhD in French literature, too bad no amount of studious outfits would make up for the dismal acceptance rate. But of course, if I was studying French I had to look the part, with an ill-fitting shirt white silk shirt.

I lied to myself. I said the bandage top only made me look like a 50-year-old picking up college kids because I was wearing it with short shorts. A longer skirt would make it amazing. But it didn’t work. It managed to make everything look like what a female predator would wear. The red, I kept waiting for the perfect cream or beige bottom to make it sing. And the glasses, did I really think my face would magically grow? 

So instead of lamenting those purchases, I’m going to turn them into a learning experience. Where do certain clothes take you? Who do they make you want to be? I’ll be writing about where can I wear strange pieces of clothing and where  I want to wear them. 



P.S. If any of you are interested in a pair of gold Miu Miu sunglasses….